It’s just not cricket… Well, actually it is! Ashes Rant

It’s that time again. The old rivalry is upon us. The smell of freshly oiled English willow wafts amongst cricket’s die hard fans, and we all know it’s on: The Ashes. Australia released their team last week with few surprises found amongst the 16 strong line up. However there were a few wrong-uns thrown into the mix. Andrew McDonald for me is one who probably doesn’t deserve to be there. To be fair he works hard with the ball and tends to stay there with the bat, but against an English side in England I don’t think he’s the right pick. We need a dynamic all rounder who can change the course of the match, and although Australia’s all round reserves aren’t exactly full to the brim, I still think he was the wrong man to put in the third all rounder spot. Injury prone Shane Watson has been included, which for me is a good idea as he fits that dynamic mould the team needs. However Watson is more prone to injury than Benji Marshall, as his body is as frail as a 90 year old arthritic pensioner. Marcus North is an excellent inclusion, and he has demonstrated with the bat he is more than willing to step up to clobber the Poms, and he can roll the arm over if need be. Some will piss and moan for me saying this, but Andrew Symonds would have been a good inclusion in place of Macca. Whilst not exactly in the best form of his life at this point in time, his test average of just over 40 speaks for itself. I think if we give him a chance he would prove us all wrong. His ability in the field will be sorely missed in the years to come should Cricket Australia weed him out, as his partnership with Michael Clarke has proved a near impermeable hole square of the wicket.

I’m confident in the bowling attack Australia has thrown in the mix. Aside from the obvious waste of space that is Nathan Hauritz, it’s a good make up. While Hauritz isn’t necessarily a bad player (he’s the best of our spinners… which isn’t saying much at the moment), I just don’t feel there is room for a full-time spinner in an Ashes squad. Damp English pitches aren’t kind to spinners, and you have to be a real talent to get any turn on any of the ground over there (aka Shane Warne). I think with the reliable right arm off spin which North can provide, and the left arm finger spin of Michael Clarke, Australia could probably make do without a spinner. Which begs the question; who would you put in his place? I would have one of two possible; Doug Bollinger or Brad Hodge. Either would be a valuable inclusion, and Bollinger would be more than ready to step in should any of the quicks fall to injury (most likely to be Brett Lee, who should be close to retiring back into the Bollywood scene now.) I fell sorry for Brad Hodge so I put him in there. He’s one of the most prolific run scorers in Domestic cricket history, and he really can’t do any more to get into the side.

The Poms will be looking at re-taking the Urn they won in 2005, and subsequently lost in 2006 due to them being rubbish. I don’t care what people say, that win in 2005 was a pure fluke. Some say it was a “master stroke of genius from a super coach” which is a term bandied about all too often these days, but let’s face it, it was a fluke and it’ll be another 18 years before they can win it back. By then we’ll all have forgotten what it feels like to lose and it’ll hurt even more. Or we’ll be dead. But let’s hope not. KP is currently injured, and while the English medical staff wrap him in cotton wool for a few weeks, it’s still uncertain whether he will even play. His year is going from bad to worse, as his well publicised fall out with former coach Peter Moores and various team members probably still resonates among England fans and administrators alike. Freddie Flintoff is also on ice following a knee injury, which is good news for the Australians, as he’s a quality player (only one of a few who is ACTUALLY English… see: KP, Andrew Strauss). These injuries plus a bunch of good new young players coming up in the Australian team signal to me another Ashes victory at the hands of a sub-par England.

My prediction? 4-0 to Australia with one test invariably drawn due to weather. Don’t like it? Prove me wrong kids. Prove me wrong.

What are your thoughts? Do the Poms stand a chance? Are we going to cane them like I suggest? Do you like warm beer, bangers and mash and unattractive women? Comment under the team list!

For those of you who haven’t seen the team, here it is.

• Ricky Ponting (captain)
• Michael Clarke (vice-captain)
• Stuart Clark
• Brad Haddin
• Nathan Hauritz
• Ben Hilfenhaus
• Phillip Hughes
• Michael Hussey
• Mitchell Johnson
• Simon Katich
• Brett Lee
• Graham Manou
• Andrew McDonald
• Marcus North
• Peter Siddle
• Shane Watson, subject to fitness

NU/SM