What’s your Alibi?

hers

I used to trek here a lot, for the low-budget brekkies and the Tuesday $2 taco-fests. However, upon my Morning Glory travels I’ve since realised that I’d prefer to sacrifice more shiny dollars for better quality service and better tasting grub. Salt would never have let me miss my hair appointment. So yes I was stressed and yes I was cranky at trying to fit in all my endless household appointments that day, but Alibi Room wrecked its reputation in my eyes the day I had to forfeit pretty new hair for a not-so-great-tasting brekky. So we walked in – no one noticed us. No problemo, we’ll seat ourselves. Menus? We’ll get them ourselves. Would someone like to take our group’s order? Nope, not likely. We waited about 40 minutes before staff even inquired into whether we had ordered yet. Then the coffees and juices took another ancient breathe. The food – another 30 minutes. This was just not cricket, in an eatery sort of way. While the wacky stuff on shelves and walls entertain me and the clock that doesn’t tick always frustrates me to figure out how to start it again without the staff noticing, I had an appointment to get to and I ended up having to cancel it after waiting an hour for the mountainous pile that is the Trucker’s Breakfast for two ($35) to arrive. In my anger, however, I did manage to engorge more of the fat-sweaty-man-sized meal than ever before. I even tried the steak (pause for gasps). This buffet of grease fit for Thor offers bacon, fried eggs, hash browns, chips, savoury mince, spinach, mushrooms, toast, snags, steak, beans, tomato and is served with a juice and coffee. The juice at Alibi is freshly squeezed and thirst-quenching, but the amount of oil saturating pretty much every surface of the ‘ungodly amount of food’-stuffs makes you want more healthy juice and less dehydrating coffee. I missed out on my coffee due to the lack of service and long waits. The staff seem to have taken the word ‘relaxed’ to a whole new level – to the point of absenteeism – which is sad because in the past they’ve been pretty snappy. At the price, it’s a bargain investment in a fat, full belly, but if your tongue wants to be teased, tingled and left wanting more, then troop somewhere else. When our meals finally did arrive the bacon and mushrooms were cold, there were only three eggs (you do the math), and the toast was a little sad and burnt looking. This home-grown, popular-with-the-kids shack is good for getting drunk, good for hang-overs, a good place to stalk bands (I’ve seen Michael from YKB thrice), and good for a uni-povo budget, but not so good if you actually enjoy even a half-healthy, eggy brunch that stimulates body parts not normally food-fuelled.

Food 2/5
Juice 4/5
Service 1/5
Atmosphere 3/5
Price 3/5

his

As the name suggests, Alibi Room really has something to answer for. I used love the place, when we would go on a Tuesday night and the Cerveza’s would flow and the 2 dollar tacos would appeal to the uni student in all of us. Now unlike hers, I didn’t have a hair appointment to go to. That having been said however, it is still a joke and a half to wait 40 minutes for service. Not only that, but to be half a foot away from the kitchen and look up and make eye contact with staff every 30 seconds and STILL for no one to come and serve was even more frustrating. So we grabbed our own menus and sat calmly waiting, waiting, waiting until FINALLY a young boy came over and said “Hey guys are you ready to order?…” I am proud at how I held back. Also note it becomes very difficult to manoeuvre off a stool and they are very uncomfortable after 40 minutes. None the less we ordered and the food came out some time later. The Truckers Breakfast ($35) for two is literally an ungodly amount of food, with everything you could possibly conceive on the plate. A mountain of bacon, eggs, sausages, chips, steak, spinach, mushrooms, beans, toast, hash browns, tomato and savoury mince including a juice and coffee for each of us, kept us busy for the next 20 minutes. By the end I FELT like a trucker, and was well and truly ready to hit the road. However for this amount of food, the juice was really the best part. The bacon and mushrooms were cold, and we only were given three eggs, which between two people is difficult as runny eggs don’t divide so well. Whilst the venue is pretty cool with retro style objects linking the walls (I think I saw a Land of the Lost lunchbox in a cabinet), I was almost amused for the duration of our wait. The staff are usually pretty good, but this time they seemed to just be going with the flow, and at times seemed to snap out of their daze to serve customers, much to the surprise of patrons. The Truckers is really a bargain for what you pay (It also comes in a vegetarian variety), but this time it just left me feeling sorry for myself. I say Alibi, stick to what you do best, keep the beer and tacos flowing and if you’re going to delve into the breakfast business at least put in some skerrick of effort.

Food 2/5
Coffee 2/5
Service 1/5
Atmosphere 3/5
Price 3/5

The Alibi Room
1/720 Brunswick St
New Farm QLD 4005
Ph: 07 3358 6133

Cirque dú soft-eggs

his

Usually when one imagines the circus, they imagine trapeze artists, elephants and crazy clowns. Now imagine all those things in a 3×3 metre square… Seem cramped? Good, because this is probably a to-scale analogy of Au Cirque, if the 3×3 square was the cafe and the elephants and trapeze artist were the people. Au Cirque on Brunswick Street on the Valley/New Farm border is a cramped, over populated little breakfast/lunch cafe with a bit to offer the not-so-average breakfast enthusiast. On my second outing to Cirque I was rather impressed with the food offered, but not so impressed with the food given. Whilst I was full to the brim from a Chowdown ($16), which included a healthy offering of eggs, bacon, mushrooms, toasted sourdough, tomato, potato rosti (hash brown type thing) and sausages, I was not too impressed with the quality of the food offered. The poached eggs weren’t runny, the bacon was greasy, and the sourdough was probably stale… These may only be the little things, but when you pay premium for these sorts of things it isn’t an unreasonable expectation. By far the best part of the meal was the orange and blood orange fresh juice ($6) I had, which was to die for… but let’s face it, squeezing juice into a glass really isn’t rocket surgery. The coffee ($4) also tasted like a boiled foot, which was an unwelcome conclusion to my meal, and I was even further angered that I had to sit at a small bench barely bigger than my plate to eat all this. The atmosphere of the place is pretty good, and the knick-knacky things on the wall are pretty cool. Wait staff (as per most of the places we frequent) are pretty helpful and attentive, which surprised me given we were tucked away somewhere in the deepest, darkest corner of the cafe. However the combination of the matchbox-esqe seating arrangements and bland food are enough to allow me to label this place “not that special”.

Food: 2/5
Coffee: 1/5
Service: 3/5
Atmosphere: 4/5
Price: 3/5

hers

The first time I went to Au Cirque was with a rock star. Now I’m not usually one to brag, but it was quite a memorable moment for this aspiring journo and I didn’t even taste the food. My photographer buddy and I picked up a tour-tiresome Alex Burnett of Sparkadia and decided breakfast was in order to please the palate and soften the blow of an otherwise formal interview. I only had coffee that time and though it was small, was quite the treat. My photo-genius pal and I returned for an afternoon breakfast one day after the first fairytale meeting. Though with depression from a too recent breakup lingering and the thought of or need for food a since crumpled page in an ancient history textbook, my 5-day empty stomach had brought on a killer migraine with the only cure (minus a large dose of happy juice) being food. I had the avocado on toast with rosti on the side for about $10… a uni-student-pocket-friendly delight. This is when I found a new love in the potato and parmesan rosti. The second and third time, however, my rosti failed to please so much. These times it was a tad burnt, taking away from the flavoursome centre the outer usually encrusts. Breakfast at Cirque, it seems, is a game of hit and miss. Sometimes it’s crowded and you have to enjoy your coffee on the rickety stools out front, sometimes you’re swished to a table (usually communally shared), and to my experience sometimes into the street-facing green-tinged sunroom upstairs. Here his and hers had the Chowdown, mine the vegetarian variety ($16). It came with soft poached eggs, roast tomato, mushrooms, rosti, onion jam, avocado, rocket and sourdough. Unfortunately my rosti didn’t take the cake, and neither did the very hard-to-chew crust of the sourdough. The tomato, however, was delectable. Though don’t let my words leave a sour taste in your un-egged mouth, it just wasn’t my cuisine-romantic day. The café does very good business and offers specials for the more adventurous. The guy next to me tried the omelette with fennel, tahini, smoked salmon, shredded beetroot, spinach and sesame seeds ($14.90) and seemed rather whelmed. For the sugar sucker, the French toast or buttermilk pancakes with their choices of choc hazelnut spread, grilled banana and chocolate cream, or berry compote, pouring cream and peanut and almond praline ($13) toppings are sure to tickle your fancy. I have to say in the absence of a good rosti, the blood orange/orange juice concoction I slurped was this week’s foodgasm, a succulent and tree-fresh taste sensation. The ambience is bright and cheery, suited to families and hung-over youth, with breakfast running all day (a lunch menu existing for the later hours too). The budget making brekkies include mushrooms on toast and fruit-topped porridge all marked under $10. The toilets are also worth a quick trip to even if just to read up on the latest Brisbane events.

Food 3/5
Juice 5/5
Service 3/5
Atmosphere 3/5
Price 4/5

Au Cirqué
618 Brunswick Street
New Farm, QLD, 4005
Ph: 3254 0479

Feeling chipper?

Carraway Pier sits more towards the ‘posh’ end of the fish-and-chip’o'meter, dishing up a me-hearty feed that is good enough for civilians as well as students. The fish is tender with a crisp crumb or beer batter, prices starting at $4.90 for whiting and ending at $7.90 for sea perch or coral trout.

This is all well and good, but the real attraction is the chips ($3 for a rather large small), which are absolutely sensational and perhaps the best to ever girt a cod. The burgers are another quiet show-stealer at Carraway Pier — they aren’t your average run-of-the-mill fish-and-chip shop burgers. As in, there is no sog. These burgers are herbed, spiced and grilled to perfection. They will change your life!

Carraway Pier

Shop 17 The Village Centre, 8 Carraway Street Kelvin Grove

3839 7698

Mon-Fri 9am-8pm; Sat-Sun 11am-8pm

Cash Only